We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. The 12-step program instills honesty and integrity in members. If making amends requires the recovering alcoholic to report a past crime, they must be willing to go to jail to complete this step on their road to a complete and limitless recovery. From the steps leading up to nine, recovering alcoholics begin to develop tools to handle stressful situations without liquor and believe in a Higher Power greater than themselves. Believing in a Higher Power provides those in recovery with a spiritual aspect that gives them strength and guidance to do the right thing even when it is hard and unlike anything they have done in the past. Having a sponsor helps with the ninth step, as sponsors work side-by-side with recovering alcoholics and help determine how to handle making amends.
Start Your Recovery
He believed strongly that alcoholism affected the body, mind, and spirit. Although the organization grew slowly in those early days, it also grew steadily. AA is, of course, heavily focused on principles of Christianity, but many of today’s groups have modernized the tenets to reflect a more diverse audience. Even so, the 12 Principles of AA have remained its central guiding influence. Many people suffering from alcoholism continue to find success in recovery by participating in AA’s program. It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
Taking the Next Steps toward Wellness
When appropriate, remind others that you are here if they change their mind or wish to talk. When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends.
What Are the Pros and Cons of the 12 Steps?
In order to living amends truly understand this concept, it is important to really understand the steps involved, and how it helps to complete them. The Twelve Steps are a set of guiding principles in addiction treatment that outline a course of action for tackling problems related to alcoholism, drug addiction and behavioral compulsion. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you. Once you enter into sobriety, there isn’t a set timeline for working Steps 8 and 9, so you might want to ask your sponsor and recovery support network for their insights about whether you’re ready. No doubt you will experience challenges and setbacks along the way.
…everything was catered towards my life.
- In most cases, the offender owes apologies to the people closest to them, like their friends, parents, and children.
- Practice accepting other’s responses to your efforts and remember that you have done all you can.
Sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget. Regardless, spiritual progress for those in recovery depends on doing their part right and making direct amends. Yet in the book “Alcoholics Anonymous,” he explains that this kind of experience is not required for recovery.
- It is very important to recognize that the act of making amends is for you and not the other person.
- Another example would be of a person who’s been a taker all their lives suddenly decides they no longer want to be self-centered and selfish.
- The way to carry this principle forward is to always remind yourself that you’re at the mercy of a higher power and that you don’t come first.
- In order to truly understand this concept, it is important to really understand the steps involved, and how it helps to complete them.
How to Complete Step 9 of AA
Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”.
How Long Does It Take for the Twelve Steps to Work?
One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die. Many individuals know that they need to apologize to someone they love but fail to do so out of pride or ego. As a result, the opportunity is lost to make things right if that person dies before they can apologize.
Of course, many other books and resources are available on the 12-step program, and what works best for one person may not work for another. Exploring different options and finding what resonates with you can be helpful. Practicing your sobriety with the principle of love means that you’re not just existing for yourself but in service to the people you care about. Love is empathy and compassion, and Step 8 asks you to make a list of everyone you’ve wronged in your journey to where you are now. You also have to be willing to make amends, which shows that you truly care for the people on your list.
Renewal Center for Ongoing Recovery
Many sponsors bring an awareness of why individuals are motivated to express amends and can question the beneficial purpose of sharing such information from the past. It is always necessary to be open-minded when working the steps because discussing your amends list with a sponsor can surface other avenues of the amends process that you may not have considered before. Perhaps, the amends that you wanted to make might not seem right after discussing with a sponsor.
